Our Crazy Road Trip: Day 17

Departure Time: 11:30 am
Odometer: 11,165
Destination: Canby, Oregon and Grants Pass, Oregon
Miles Travelled Today: 293
Miles Travelled to Date: 2,645

What a delightful morning! We breakfasted with the Howells (hereafter referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Cowbell). We know Mr. Cowbell because he is our friend Jared’s dad, and he comes to TDS with us every year. I should mention here that Mr. Cowbell is possibly the coolest old guy around. Mrs. Cowbell made us homemade waffles and pigs in a blanket. It was delicious, and yes, you should be jealous. We had a very nice visit, especially since we were provided with some new insights into Jared’s psyche. It turns out he was a giant, cranky baby with an insatiable appetite. I find this hard to believe! After we were appropriately loaded up with chocolate chip cookies and waffles for the road, we were off to Canby, Oregon to visit with my long lost MOPS comrade, Veronica.

It was so much fun to see her and her new house, and the girls had a ball playing with Aly (Landon was at school L ). We chatted and caught up for about an hour. Then we were once again on our way. On the way into her neighborhood, we spotted a house that had all sorts of really cool looking hand carved wood furniture for sale out front. Among the merchandise was a picnic table with four benches. We decided to stop on the way out to see how much it cost, feeling almost certain that it would be a fortune. Since we didn’t plan on being there for very long, Patrick just pulled off to the shoulder a bit so I could hop out and get a price. What I am about to describe next makes this long, boring informational paragraph worth the read.

If you have ever seen the movie Nothing But Trouble (starring Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, and Dan Aakroyd), just picture the judge. If not, you must rely on my description for the visual. As I stepped out to find the proprietor and obtain what I was certain would be an exorbitant price, a hunched over figure on a motorized scooter came zooming across the lawn. He looked to be in his late sixties, early seventies, with greasy white hair, a cigarette dangling from his lips, a puckered mouth from lack of teeth, and no lower limbs on either leg.

When I inquired as to the price of the table, he said “Three and a half.”

“As in $350?” is asked rather unbelievingly.

“Yup. With the four benches.”

Ok, so now I had to have this picnic set. We have wanted to get some more appropriate patio furniture ever since we moved into our house almost three years ago, but everything is so darn expensive. I ran over to the motorhome to tell Pat the price and declare that the table would be mine. Well, he was kind of blocking the entire road, so he suggested that he should probably get out of the way of traffic. The only place to go was this old dude’s driveway. Since it is not really convenient (or even possible) to make a sharp u-turn in the RV, and we can’t back up while towing the Land Rover, his only choice was to go find a route that would bring him back around so he could pull into the driveway. I didn’t think it would take more than a few minutes, so I let him takeoff and I stayed back with the strange, old scooter man, who then introduced himself as Jupe (like the planet Jupiter).

The ensuing 20 or so minutes went as follows:
Jupe told me about the furniture, how he made it, and how to care for it. This was peppered with jokes that either I didn’t understand or were slightly inappropriate, at which he wheezily laughed and slapped his upper thigh (his knees being amputated and all). I did my best to humor him be chuckling in agreement with whatever it was that he said, all while glancing nervously down the road to see if my husband would appear. After about 10 minutes I began to fear that he had left me on the side of the road and that I would have to become Jupe’s sweep up girl or wife in order to make my way in the cold, dark world. Then, I remembered that Pat had all three kids with him, so I was pretty confident that he would be back. Of course, I am a total dolt and did not grab my phone before he took off, so all I could do was visit with Jupe as he stubbed cigarette after cigarette out on the handlebars of his scooter and wait for his return. I finally asked Jupe if he had a phone (I was thinking that he probably didn’t have one), and he produced a cell from his front shirt pocket. Pat was nearby, and finally arrived to relieve me from my tete-a-tete with Jupe.

The next challenge was finding a way to transport said picnic ensemble home. Since my husband is a master rigger, he was able to fashion a tangle of tow straps and zip ties to tether the table and benches to the roof of the Land Rover. An hour later and we were on our way to Grants Pass with our cool new handcrafted souvenir (pretty much the only one we bought on this trip – totally worth every penny). We even made it to our RV park within our desired window of time and had time to read the girls a bedtime story about life on the Oregon Trail in the 1800s.

Forget about getting these girls to be sociable if Scooby Doo is on.

Kickin' back with Mrs. Cowbell and the doggies

La Casa Cowbell, the Martinez Clan, Mr. and Mrs. Cowbell

This is the Columbia River bridge crossing from Washington into Oregon. I did not have to drive this part :).

Playing at the Johnsons'. If all else fails, just shove them all into a closet.

Veronica and Baby Charlie - Mama, Baby Charlie, and Veronica

Our very special table all loaded up on the Super Rover. I don't know why I didn't think to take a picture before they got it up there. I'll definitely post one when we get home.

Ah, now this is what the 5 fwy should look like.

Goofballs signing off